Sunday, September 30, 2007

Playlist, Vol. IV

Here's another chance for all you readers to see the bands and artists that I may listen to but haven't yet mentioned in a posting. I put my iPod on shuffle, write down what’s played and, once again (!), a song from Costello’s Goodbye Cruel World did NOT come up. Here’s what came up:

“Willie” by Cat Power
“Sitting on Top of the World” by Mississippi Sheiks
“Black Mirror” by Arcade Fire
“Lion’s Teeth” by The Mountain Goats
“Has He Got a Friend for Me?” by Richard and Linda Thompson
“How High the Moon” by Ella Fitzgerald (live)
“The Last Time” by The Rolling Stones
“Forty Thousand Headmen” by Traffic
“Down in the Flood” by Bob Dylan (live)
“The Sadness” by Ryan Adams
“Sy Borg” by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention
“Somewhere That’s Green” by Little Shop of Horrors soundtrack
“Dozen Girls” by The Damned
“Sunday Bloody Sunday” by U2
“Omie Wise” Doc Watson (live)
“Baptize Me in Wine” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
“Send No Letter” by The Velvet Underground (post-Lou, and bad)
“Rubber Band” by David Bowie

Friday, September 28, 2007

Spectacularly Simple

For all my talk about "the ghosts of electricity" and "scrounging for your next meal," sometimes rock 'n' roll doesn't have to be that complex. It's only a rare great (Dylan, Waits, Springsteen, etc.) that can make the intellectual sound magnificent with the accompaniment of only the guitar, bass and drums.

But this post isn't about the complex, it's about the seemingly simply. Take these few lines of lyrics from different artists:

You're gonna say you'll miss me
You're gonna say you'll kiss me
Yes, you're gonna say you'll love me
'Cause I'm gonna love you too

I'm gonna give you thirty days to get back home
I done talked to the gypsy woman on the telephone
She gonna send out a world wide hoodoo
That'll be the very thing that'll suit ya
I'm gonna see that you be back home in thirty days

Ooh, I need your love babe,
Guess you know it's true.
Hope you need my love babe,
Just like I need you.

Those three songs--"I'm Gonna Love You" by Buddy Holly, "Thirty Days" by Chuck Berry" and especially "Eight Days a Week" by The Beatles--are all compromised of words and lines that you think you could probably write, but never did. And never will. That's the genius of them; it's like seeing a painting in a museum and thinking to yourself, "Psh, I could do." Well, there's a reason why they're Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry and The Beatles and we're not...

Is this why The Beatles reached such massive? Those lyrics that girls at the age of 9 all the way up to men in their 50s could equally relate to, but for completely different reasons. It's surely got to be one of the reasons.

Would I give up "Like a Rolling Stone" so that there'd be no "Aqualung?" No, I wouldn't. Along the same line, I wouldn't give up "I've just seen a face/I can't forget the time or place," even if it meant there'd be no:

I'm just mad about Fourteen
Fourteen's mad about me
I'm just mad about Fourteen
She's just mad about me

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Five Best...Songs from The Clash

#5. "Career Opportunities"

Career opportunities are the ones that never knock
Every job they offer you is to keep you out the dock
Career opportunity, the ones that never knock

#4. "Clash City Rockers"

An' I wanna move the town to the clash city rockers
You need a little jump of electrical shockers
You better leave town if you only wanna knock us
Nothing stands the pressure of the clash city rockers

#3. "Police and Thieves"

Scaring, fighting the nation
Shooting, shooting their guns and ammunition

#2. "Complete Control"

They said we'd be artistically free
When we signed that bit of paper
They meant let's make a lotsa money
An' worry about it later

#1. "(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais"

All over people changing their votes
Along with their overcoats
If Adolf Hitler flew in today
They'd send a limousine anyway

Monday, September 24, 2007

Ten Most...Played Bob Dylan Songs on my iPod

#10. "You Angel You"

Why? Sometimes the best Dylan love songs are the simplest ones.

#9. "Tight Connection to My Heart

Why? Occasionally, I like to listen way-too-pop 80's Dylan.

#8. "Brownsville Girl"

Why? Fun to sing and follow along to--even if I don't really know what's going on some of the time.

#7. "One More Night"

Why? Short, breezy and fun. Just like Bobby...

#6. "Thunder on the Mountain"

Why? It's semi-new and my second favorite on the album.

#5. "Workingman's Blues #2"

Why? It's semi-new and my favorite on the album.

#4. "Visions of Johanna"

Why? One of favorite Dylan songs. Was most-played for awhile.

#3. "Drifter's Escape"

Why? A great song but also the one following...

#2. "The Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest"

Why? Hilarious and a top-three Dylan song for me.

#1. "She's Your Lover Now"

Why? It's my favorite.

Now, many of these are nowhere near my favorite Dylan songs ("Tight Connection" anyone?) and there are many other songs that are more deserving to be on my most played list ("Not Dark Yet," "Like a Rolling Stone," etc.) but for some reason or another, I guess I go to these ten the most.

Almost cracking the list include "Mississippi," "When the Ship Comes In," "It Takes a Lot to Laugh..." and pretty much the rest of the Blonde on Blonde album.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Five Best...Songs from Across the Universe

#5. "It Won't Be Long"

#4. "All My Loving"

#3. "Hey Jude"

#2. "Let It Be"

#1. "I've Just Seen a Face"

(Sorry, couldn't find clips from the movie for "All My Loving" and "Let It Be," but "Loving" has essentially the same feel as the original while "Be" takes on a gospel sound. It's actually quite stunning and just shows how great of a songwriter Paul was.)

Friday, September 21, 2007

Early in the Morning, I'm Callin' YouTube, Vol. V


-Otis Redding and the Black Keys singing "Try a Little Tenderness" in 1966. Gotta love the outfits the Keys are wearing.

-I have no idea who Woody Lissauer is, but he does a really good version of "John Barleycorn Must Die." His accent really adds something to the song. But then again, it's a tough song to really sound terrible performing.

-Here's the Traffic version of the same song. Just perfect.

-When I first heard that Mark Ronson was re-mixing "Most Likely You Will Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)" and giving it more of a hip-hop feel, I was very skeptical but now that I've heard it, it's actually kind of interesting. Bringing the horns to the front of the song is an inspired choice. And if gets the kiddies listening to Dylan, all the more power to him.

-Keep "Pressing On."

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Five Best...Songs about Masturbation

#5. "Darling Nikki" by Prince and the Revolution

Knew a girl named Nikki,
I guess you could say she was a sex fiend.
I met her in a hotel lobby,
Masturbating with a magazine.

#4. "Orgasm Addict" by the Buzzcocks

Well you tried it just for once found it all right for kicks,
But now you found out that it's a habit that sticks,
And you're an orgasm addict, you're an orgasm addict,
Sneaking in the back door with dirty magazines.
Now your mother wants to know what all those stains on your jeans.

#3. "I Touch Myself" by The DiVinyls

I don't want anybody else,
And when I think about you I touch myself.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, aah.

(Sorry, but I had to...)

#2. "Pictures of Lily" by The Who

I got so sick of having sleepless nights,
I went and told my dad
He said, ‘Son, now here’s some little something’
And stuck them on my wall

#1. "Pump It Up" by Elvis Costello and the Attractions

Down in the pleasure centers,
Hell bent or heaven sent,
Listen to the propaganda,
Listen to the latest slander.
There's nothing underhand,
That she wouldn't understand.
Pump it up until you can feel it.
Pump it up when you don't really need it.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Mr. Reporter, Vol. II

As appears in today's issue of the New School Free Press:

#5. The Simpsons
400 Episodes, Longest Running Sitcom Ever, Hit Movie, 21 Emmy’s, Ralph Wiggum, Most Guest Stars in an Animated Show—the list could keep going on and on. I guess if you aren’t watching the show yet or have never heard of the name Bort, you’re beyond lost anyways…

#4. Weeds
I’m partly biased here because of my love for Mary Louise-Parker, but if you haven’t been watching the third season (it began in mid-August), please do what I did: have a friend download them illegally from online. Or maybe just watch them on Showtime? Either works.

#3. Scrubs
This is the last season for John Dorian, Turk Turkelton, Rowdy and the rest of the gang at Sacred Heart Hospital. True, it’ll run forever on Comedy Central re-runs, but Scrubs has never gotten the true respect it deserves for being a stellar sitcom.

#2. Heroes
With so much hype over the summer, it’ll be tough for Tim Kring and the other writers to appease all the fans of the show. But, in terms of a sophomore year, I think it’ll be more awesome than, let’s say, Twin Peaks.

#1. The Office
Judging by last season’s finale, Jim and Pam are (finally) together. So, where does the show go now? They’ve stepped past the boundaries of BBC’s Office and although the “Will They? Won’t They” factor might be lost, the show does still have Steve Carell and Creed.

Mr. Reporter

As appears in today's issue of the New School Free Press:

Held in New York for the first time in its 22-year history, Farm Aid managed to give the big city, particularly Randall’s Island, a small-town feel.

Talking about Live Earth in 1985, Bob Dylan said that some of the money raised should be used to “pay the mortgages on some of the farms.”

On Dylan’s prompt, John Mellencamp, Neil Young and Willie Nelson agreed that something needed to be done, and Farm Aid was created.

The goal of Farm Aid is to keep farmers on their land, and all funds raised are spread all across the country. The concerts have raised in excess of $30 million to-date.

Beginning just as a benefit concert featuring artists as diverse as X, Johnny Cash and The Beach Boys, Farm Aid has morphed into an organization making positive change throughout the country.

This year’s concert, which featured over 20 acts, lasted roughly 12 hours and, by the end, the crowd was stuffed on homegrown food like pork sandwiches and free-range chicken. Education was available at booths throughout the island about where your produce comes from: education made palatable by way of the food and music.

Of the early acts Matisyahu and Jimmy Sturr, a polka musician who covered a farmer favorite, “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” got the biggest applause. Later on bigger names took the stage. The Counting Crows played 5 songs, including segueing their own “Rain King” into Bruce Springsteen’s “Thunder Road.”

One of the best performances of the night was The Allman Brothers Band who, at about an hour, played one of the longest sets and seemed to enjoy of every second of it. Warren Hayes and Greg Allman traded licks back and forth on the guitar and left the crowd in ecstasy.

Dave Matthews, who became a board member in 2001, played an acoustic set with Tim Reynolds. Although Matthews’ voice was pretty hoarse, the duo became a crowd favorite when they included “Crush” and “Ants Marching.”

In the end, Neil Young stole the night. Instead of playing a blistering electric set, he played a simple acoustic-driven one with his wife, Peggy, and Ben Keith on the Dobro. They played “Everyone Knows This is Nowhere, “ “Four Strong Winds” and “Too Far Gone,” among others, and in-between songs Young offered his opinions on everything from red-wing blackbirds to what farming means to New York City.

For those twelve hours, maybe for the first time in their lives, New York City-dwellers cared about farming.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Last Inprint Post (For the Name Has Changed)

As appears in last week's Inprint:

Best Place to Get Quench Your Craving for Chocolate,
While going to a concert at St Ann’s Warehouse in DUMBO one night, a friend and I stumbled upon Jacques Torres Chocolate. Located at 66 Water Street, it’s a great place to get their famous Ice Cold Hot Chocolate, chocolate bon-bon’s, croissants and huge bars of chocolate for pretty cheap (seriously, 2.2 pounds for only 20 bucks is a good deal) that makes waiting for a concert that much more bearable.

Best “That’s What She Said” in New York City

Even the most stoic of souls can’t resist unleashing a “That’s What She Said” when walking through the intersection of Cumming Street and Seaman Avenue. Located in the Bronx, it’s a dream come (cum?) true for all those who appreciate childish jokes and always laugh when someone says the word “beaver.” But if that’s not good enough for you, Dyckman Street is just a few blocks away.

Best Place to See Underground Horror Movies
At the Pioneer Theater, you can view films like The Tripper which has a plot description of, “A Ronald Reagan-obsessed serial killer targets a bunch of hippies who are heading to a weekend-long concert.” Intrigued? If so, head over to East 3rd Street between Avenue A and B, and be sure to check our their upcoming “Fourth Annual Month of Horror, Terror and General Mayhem” in October.

Best Place to Get Drunk for Free
If you like free wine and artwork ranging from terrible to not-so-terrible, the art galleries in Chelsea on Thursday nights are the place to be. Located between Ninth and Tenth Avenue in, well, Chelsea, the galleries become packed with hopeful artists, creepo’s looking to pick up a chick or dude or both, and people like me who know how to take advantage of a good thing.

Best Place(s) to Reenact An Album Cover
There’s nothing as readily recognizable in New York City as, say, The Beatles crossing Abbey Road in terms of album covers but there are places where you can go to see where iconic photos were taken. Traveling into Greenwich Village, head to the intersection of Jane and 4th Street, and you’ve got where Bob Dylan and his then-girlfriend, Suze Rotolo, stood for The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan. Once finished there, walk over to 96 and 98 St. Mark’s Place and that’s where Led Zeppelin’s Physical Grafitti was shot.

Best Bookstore
You try to be clever with lists and think of something that no one else has, but when it comes to bookstores in this fine city, there’s really one place to go: Strand. And everyone knows it. With “18 miles” of books and two locations (the better of the two is at East 12th Street and Broadway while the other resides at 95 Fulton Street) , whatever you need to find can be easily found within their endearingly cramped aisles. Plus, the people there are a lot nicer than the ones at any Barnes & Noble or Borders.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Five Best...Songs from Infidels

#5. "I and I"

Think I'll go out and go for a walk,
Not much happenin' here, nothin' ever does.
Besides, if she wakes up now, she'll just want me to talk
I got nothin' to say, 'specially about whatever was.

#4. "License to Kill"

Now, there's a woman on my block,
She just sit there as the night grows still.
She say who gonna take away his license to kill?

#3. "Sweetheart Like You"

You know, I once knew a woman who looked like you,
She wanted a whole man, not just a half,
She used to call me sweet daddy when I was only a child,
You kind of remind me of her when you laugh.

#2. "Don't Fall Apart on Me Tonight"

I ain't too good at conversation, girl,
So you might not know exactly how I feel,
But if I could, I'd bring you to the mountaintop, girl,
And build you a house made out of stainless steel.

#1. "Jokerman"

It's a shadowy world,
Skies are slippery gray,
A woman just gave birth to a prince today
And dressed him in scarlet.
He'll put the priest in his pocket,
Put the blade to the heat,
Take the motherless children off the street
And place them at the feet of a harlot.
Oh, Jokerman, you know what he wants,
Oh, Jokerman, you don't show any response.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Five Best...Performances at Farm Aid

#5. "Statesboro Blues" by The Allman Brothers Band

#4. "One" by Warren Haynes

#3. "Rain King-Thunder Road-Rain King" by Counting Crows

#2. "Crush" by Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds

#1. The whole of Neil Young's set:

Human Highway
Silver and Gold
Beautiful Bluebird
Too Far Gone
Everybody Knows This is Nowhere
Heart of Gold
Four Strong Winds

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Five Best...Famous New School Students

As appeared in last week's Inprint:

#5. Joel Schumacher

NYU gets Martin Scorsese, The New School gets the director of such classics as D.C. Cab (starring Mr. T and Gary “Crazy as Shit” Busey), Batman & Robin and The Phantom of the Opera.

#4. Jonah Hill

When I’m 24-years-old, I wouldn’t mind already having appeared in movies like The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Even Almighty, Knocked Up and, most recently, starring alongside Michael Cera in Superbad. So, essentially, being in movies that consist of Judd Apatow and or Steve Carell.

#3. Bill Evans

One of the all-time great jazz composers and pianists, Evans went to Mannes in 1955—the same school that also taught Burt Bacharach a few years prior. And his haven been taught at The New School is a lot cooler than Rob Zombie, Ani DiFranco or Matisyahu also going here.

#2. John Cage

No, not the character from Ally McBeal but rather the American composer who, among other inventive ideas, was one of the first to experiment with “extended technique,” playing instruments in non-traditional ways. He’s one of the most famous composers our country has had and was a huge influence on bands like The Velvet Underground.

#1. Marlon Brando

The greatest actor of the 20th century actually went to our fair school. He took classes from Stella Adler at The New School for Social Research in the early 1940s and with those classes, he “learned” how to act and would eventually star in films like On the Waterfront, A Streetcar Named Desiree and The Godfather.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Five Best...Artists at Farm Aid

Today will be the first time I ever attend a large music festival. Held out on Randall's Island, Farm Aid--created by John Mellencamp, Willie Nelson and Neil Young over a Bob Dylan quote--should be a lot of fun. The weather's not great today but I got the ticket for free, it's a good cause and I'm looking forward to seeing:

#5. The Allman Brothers Band

#4. Willie Nelson

#3. Counting Crows

#2. Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds

#1. Neil Young

Friday, September 7, 2007

We Live in a Political World

I don’t claim to know enough or even all that much about politics. I know the basics of why I shouldn’t like this person or respect this organization, but when it comes to specifics, I’m left to buzz words and bits and pieces I’ve picked up along the line. Presidents and emperors and prime ministers are names to me that I know are important, but that doesn’t mean I know their biography or even, in many cases, if they’re an effective leader.

I spend a lot of time in the newspaper office at The New School, where many of my best friends also spend their time after or during classes. It’s also where I was first offered a glance of what a purple, Dough Boy-type drawing looks like while, only a few feet away, there’s a terrifying picture of John McCain looking like he’s ready to either give you a hug or tear your head off.

Many of the conversations in the office, especially between three specific people, inevitably lead towards politics the same way all mine seem to end in a Arrested Development quote or Dylan lyric. So, while they’re discussing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict or discussing the economic crisis in South Africa, I go to the computer for or

I’ll listen to their talks and maybe add my two cents every so often, but mostly I listen or just drift away. It’s not that I don’t care about politics; it’s more that there are just other things that I’m more interested in. For the longest time, I was ashamed of myself for wanting to write about music for a living, but a thought clicked into my mind one day: Why should I care if what I love to do won’t have a huge affect upon the world? As I so often say to myself, especially about the three people mentioned above, I’ll let them save the world while I’ll entertain it.

Even better, yesterday at a Block Party for my school, I was walking along with my friends Hannah, Peter and Kayley. While going through and looking at the booths, Hannah and Peter saw someone they knew from the Students for a Democratic Party, so they went over there to chat. Kayley and I didn’t know the kid and while walking away, she said, “We could talk about politics for 30 minutes and come up with no conclusions, or we can go get a free Snapple which will solve the problem of quenching my thirst.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself, Kayley.

Ok, now that I’ve got that non-diatribe out of the way, here’s not so much a list but the lyrics to one of my favorite political songs of all-time. It’s “Road to Peace” from Tom Waits’ Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards, and it tells the story of a young kid, Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay), in Jerusalem who, along with others throughout the song, are killed for no reason instead of looking for the “road to peace.” Waits does more in this song than many, as much as it kills me to say it, newspapers could do with the same story, and that just goes to show how powerful of a songwriter he is.

Young Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay) was only 18 years old,
He was the youngest of nine children, never spent a night away from home.
And his mother held his photograph, opening the New York Times
To see the killing has intensified along the road to peace

There was a tall, thin boy with a whispy moustache disguised as an orthodox Jew
On a crowded bus in Jerusalem, some had survived World War Two
And the thunderous explosion blew out windows 200 yards away
With more retribution and seventeen dead along the road to peace

Now at King George Ave and Jaffa Road passengers boarded bus 14a
In the aisle next to the driver Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
And the last thing that he said on earth is "God is great and God is good"
And he blew them all to kingdom come upon the road to peace

Now in response to this another kiss of death was visited upon
Yasser Taha, Israel says is an Hamas senior militant
And Israel sent four choppers in, flames engulfed, tears wide open
And it killed his wife and his three year old child leaving only blackened skeletons

It's found his toddlers bottle and a pair of small shoes and they waved them in front of the cameras
But Israel says they did not know that his wife and child were in the car
There are roadblocks everywhere and only suffering on TV
Neither side will ever give up their smallest right along the road to peace

Israel launched it's latest campaign against Hamas on Tuesday
Two days later Hamas shot back and killed five Israeli soldiers
So thousands dead and wounded on both sides most of them middle eastern civilians
They fill the children full of hate to fight an old man's war and die upon the road to peace

"And this is our land we will fight with all our force" say the Palastinians and the Jews
Each side will cut off the hand of anyone who tries to stop the resistance
If the right eye offends thee then you must pluck it out
And Mahmoud Abbas said Sharon had been lost out along the road to peace

Once Kissinger said "we have no friends, America only has interests"
Now our president wants to be seen as a hero and he's hungry for re-election
But Bush is reluctant to risk his future in the fear of his political failures
So he plays chess at his desk and poses for the press 10,000 miles from the road to peace

In the video that they found at the home of Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
He held a Kalashnikov rifle and he spoke with a voice like a boy
He was an excellent student, he studied so hard, it was as if he had a future
He told his mother that he had a test that day out along the road to peace

The fundamentalist killing on both sides is standing in the path of peace
But tell me why are we arming the Israeli army with guns and tanks and bullets?
And if God is great and God is good why can't he change the hearts of men?
Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
Maybe God himself is lost and needs help
He's out upon the road to peace

Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
And he's lost upon the road to peace
And he's lost upon the road to peace
Out upon the road to peace.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Five Best..."16" Songs

#5. "Too Drunk To Fuck" by Dead Kennedy's

Went to a party
I danced all night
I drank 16 beers
And I started up a fight

#4. "Jockey Full of Bourbon" by Tom Waits

Sixteen men on a deadman's chest
And I've been drinking from a broken cup
Two pairs of pants and a mohair vest
I'm full of bourbon, I can't stand up

#3. "The E Street Shuffle" by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

Now those E Street brats in twilight dual flashlight phantoms in full star
Stream down fire trails of silver nights with blonde girls pledged sweet sixteen

#2. "Sixteen Shells from a Thirty-Ought Six" by Tom Waits

I'm gonna whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
Whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six

#1. "Sixteen Tons" by Johnny Cash

You haul Sixteen Tons, whadaya get?
Another older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Wonderful Woody

I rarely think about Woody Guthrie, and that's quite the lost for me. Outside of his influence on Bob Dylan, he stands alone quite fine all by himself. While working on some homework at the computer center at my school, I paused for a moment when I heard this:

Now as I look around, it's mighty plain to see
This world is such a great and a funny place to be;
Oh, the gamblin' man is rich an' the workin' man is poor,
And I ain't got no home in this world anymore.

The irony and sarcasm is fantastic, but it's rather depressing at the same time. Writing his lyrics like he lived his life, Woody could never feel like he truly belonged in this world--or at least this country.

The above lyrics for "I Ain't Go Home" were transformed by a young Jew from Minnesota some 22 years later into this:

Now, it don't seem to me quite so funny
What some people are gonna do f'r money.
There's a bran' new gimmick every day
Just t' take somebody's money away.
I think we oughta take some o' these people
And put 'em on a boat, send 'em up to Bear Mountain...for a picnic

Different situation, same ironic sense of people and places.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Five Best...U2 Albums

#5. The Unforgettable Fire

#4. All That You Can't Leave Behind

#3. Achtung Baby

#2. War

#1. The Joshua Tree

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Gee, It's Great to Be Back Home/Home is Where I Want to Be

While walking to my friend's apartment in Brooklyn yesterday afternoon, I was stopped by a homeless man. It was my first day back in the city, so I decided to listen to his story and maybe give him a buck or two. There were two things that immediately struck me about him: He possessed no teeth and looked exactly like Muddy Waters. Already I had made up my mind to give him a dollar, but when he told me that he had had a colonoscopy earlier in the day, I was sold.

Walking away from him, I couldn't help but smile; I knew I was finally back.