Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Eight Nights This Week

When I think of Hanukkah, one of the first things I think of is Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song” trilogy—and this is coming from someone who actually celebrates the holiday. The songs are both educational and hilarious, a rare mix.

Although Sandler hasn’t hit comedy gold since Big Daddy, I think is a good time to reflect on how funny he was (and might still be), and also to think about the holiday.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I think the third song is the funniest

Happy Hanukkah everyone!

“The Hanukkah Song”

Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Bowzer from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzarelli

Paul Newman’s half-Jewish, Goldie Hawn’s half too
Put them together, what a fine looking Jew!

You don’t need “Deck the Halls” or “Jingle Bell Rock”
‘Cause you can the spin the dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock—both Jewish!

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is,
Well, he’s not, but guess who is: All Three Stooges.

“The Hanukkah Song, Part II”

We got Harvey Keitel and flash dancer Jennifer Beals
Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish, and yes, her boobs are real

So many Jews in the business
Bruce Springsteen isn’t Jewish, but my mother thinks he is

Two-time Oscar winner Dustin Hoffmonica celebrates Hanukkah
OJ Simpson, still not a Jew, but guess who is?
The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo

Guess who got bar mitzvahed on the PGA Tour?
No, I’m not talking about Tiger Woods, I’m talking about Mr. Happy Gilmore

Bob Dylan was born a Jew, then he wasn’t, but now he’s back
Mary Tyler Moore’s husband is Jewish, ‘cause we’re pretty good in the sack

“The Hanukkah Song, Part III”

Houdini and David Blaine escape straitjackets with such precision
But the one thing they could not get out of: their painful circumcision

Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mix meat with dairy
Maybe they should of called that show Little Kosher House on the Prairie

We've got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller and Jack Black
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back

Hey, Natalie Portmanica
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get an Abtronica
On this joyful, toyful Chanukah

There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrell, Beck and Paula Abdul
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music, but first came Hebrew School


kiara ink said...

In song #1, how could you not have Kirk/Spock (no slash intended) be #1? Have I taught you nothing???

kiara ink said...

...Much later....thanks a lot. Now I can't get this song out of my head.