Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Stand By Me
One of the most adult kid movies I’ve ever seen is Stand By Me. Based on a short story by Stephen King, Stand By Me is a movie about four 12-year-old boys looking to find a dead body. But that description doesn’t do the film much justice because there’s so much more to it than that—and it’s greatly helped by the fantastic acting of River Phoenix (Chris), Jerry O’Connell (Vern), Wil Wheaton (Gordie) and Corey Feldman (Teddy).
If ever you want to see a movie with a kid old enough to hear the word “shit” and appreciate how much having a leech on your you-know-what would hurt, this is definitely worth a rent from Blockbuster or Netflix—especially with a slice of blueberry pie.
Here are my favorite lines from the movie:
Vern: Come on you guys, let's get moving.
Teddy: Yeah, by the time we get there, the kid won't even be dead anymore.
Vern: You guys wanna go see a dead body?
Teddy: Okay, you guys can go through the woods, but I am going right here across this bridge. And when you guys will get to the other side, I will be sitting in there, relaxing with my thoughts.
Gordie: Do you use your left hand or right hand to do that?
Teddy: You wish.
Chris: You four-eyed pile of shit.
Teddy: A pile of shit has a thousand eyes.
Gordie: Fuck writing, I don't want to be a writer. It's stupid, it's a stupid waste of time.
Chris: That's your dad talking.
Chris: Bull true.
Gordie: I'll see ya.
Chris: Not if I see you first.
Vern: You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?
Teddy: What are you, cracked?
Vern: No, I saw him on TV the other day, he was holding five elephants in one hand.
Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothing. Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy. There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.
Vern: I guess you're right. It'd be a good fight though.
Gordie: Do you think I'm weird?
Gordie: No man, seriously. Am I weird?
Chris: Yeah, but so what? Everybody's weird.
Chris: It's like God gave you something, man. All those stories you can make up. And He said, this is what we got for you kid, try not to lose it. But kids lose everything unless there's someone there to look out for them.
Gordie: Alright, alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog, what's Goofy?
Vern: If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy, Pez, cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it.
Teddy: Goofy's a dog. He's definitely a dog.
Gordie: I knew the $64,000 question was fixed. There's no way anybody could no that much about opera!
Chris: He can't be a dog. He drives a car and wears a hat.
Gordie: Wagon Train's a really cool show, but did you notice they never get anywhere? They just keep wagon training.
Vern: Oh, God. That's weird. What the hell is Goofy?