Monday, February 19, 2007

Is it Synchronicity or Scrantonicity?

I found a certain sense of redemption this morning when I bought a thermometer and saw my temperature to be 100 degrees. As long as I'm going to be sick, I'd might as well be sick with a temperature. Otherwise, it's like cheating on an exam but only aiming for a 73, not a perfect grade.

Due to the aforementioned illness, I'll be withholding my Dylan list for another day but do present, in lieu of Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland announcing last week that they'll reunite together as The Police for a 30th anniversary tour, the...

Five Best...Police songs

5- "On Any Other Day"

-It starts out with "The other ones are complete bullshit...You want something corny? Ya got it" and the rest of the song chronicles a father's wishing that his wife would burn the eggs, his dog could bite his leg, his teenage daughter can run away and his son can end up gay, but on any other day but today. Inevitably, tomorrow never comes.

4- "Walking on the Moon"

-A sentimental favorite because I remember when I was about 8 or 9 at the Jewish Community Center doing a talent show with my fellow Maccabees (hey, it was a Jew camp) and performing this song. Our way of "walking on the moon" was to jump on trampolines while wearing black clothes with neon streaks of crepe paper attached to it.

3- "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da"

-Nonsense word tracks are tough to pull off (just ask The Beatles' with "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da") because Sting realizes this and, in the chorus, mocks it by singing, "They're meaningless and all that's true." It's not very often that I give praise Sting (after all, he is the guy who created the terrible "Desert Rose," which I'll never forgive him for.)

2- "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"

-A danceable chorus, good lyrics and excellent musicianship makes up for a sub par vocal performance by Sting. That is, at least until the "e-O, e-O's" kick in at the end of the track.

1- "Don't Stand So Close To Me"

-In an episode from the second season of Veronica Mars, one of my favorite television shows, a girl student and her teacher are found to have been having a sexual relationship with one another. When this gets around the school, other students, upon seeing the girl, begin singing, "Young teacher/The subject/Of schoolgirl fantasy/She wants him so badly/Knows what she wants to be." A perfectly fitting (and cruel) situation to use this great song. Much better than the other stalker-ish song of theirs, "Every Breath You Take," this track never got overplayed and is much creepier sounding than most songs could ever hope to be.

As a bonus, here's a terrible video of Sting on The Simpsons singing, "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well." I apologize for the fact that you can't see the actual performance but it's the best I can do.

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