Friday, February 23, 2007

Five Best...Mel Brooks' Movies

5. Robin Hood: Men in Tights
-The first time I saw this movie, I wasn't terribly impressed and although it still isn't a classic, it has gotten better with time. Maybe its Cary "I Was in Saw" Elwes as Robin Hood or Dave Chapelle and Isaac Hayes as Ahchoo and Asneeze, but scenes like the musical are rather funny. Plus, there's always:

Prince John: Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it?
Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.
Prince John: You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"?
Latrine: Yeah. Used to be "Shithouse."
Prince John: It's a good change. That's a good change!

4. History of the World Part I
-For the Spanish Inquisition scene and “ghetto blasters,” it deserves the fourth spot on this list over Spaceballs.

3. Young Frankenstein
-Picking the top three of Brooks’ movies is tough because they’re all absolute comedic masterpieces that any movie fun should at least once. But when they’re all this good (and feature so many great quotes), I guess it really doesn’t.

Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say?
Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
Igor: And you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.

Igor: I didn't make a yummy sound, I just asked you what it is.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits...
The Monster: 'UTTIN' ON THE 'IIIIITZ.

Igor: Where are you going?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: To wash up. I've got to look normal.
[his bowtie pops open]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: We've all of us got to behave normally.

2. The Producers
-Having just recently watched this movie for seemingly the 10th time, I remembered why I love it so and why I didn’t want to see the remake. I mean, why bother re-making something already so perfect? And yes, I’m talking to you idiots who made another The Manchurian Candidate. Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder are perfectly cast as Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom, two schlubs who create an idea to make a million dollars by producing a Broadway flop. Of course, behind the end of it, they’ve created the amazing Springtime with Hitler. Some of the best quotes include:

Roger De Bris: Ah, Bialystock and Bloom, I presume! Heh heh, forgive the pun!
Leo Bloom: [to Max] What pun?
Max Bialystock: Shut up, he thinks he's witty.

Leo Bloom: Ah, gut da! Max, have you gone mad? A receptionist who can't speak English? What will people say?
Max Bialystock: They'll say, "A wuma wa wa wa wa!"

Max Bialystock: "Gregor Samsa awoke one morning to discover that he had been transformed into a giant cockroach." Nah, it's too good.

Franz Liebkind: Not many people know it, but the Fuhrer was a terrific dancer.

Franz Liebkind: Hitler... there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in ONE afternoon! TWO coats!

Max Bialystock: Roger, did you have a chance to read "Springtime for Hitler?"
Roger De Bris: [emerges from behind a partition wearing a dress] Remarkable, remarkable! A stunning piece of work.
Leo Bloom: [under his breath] Max... he's wearing a dress.
Max Bialystock: No kidding.
Roger De Bris: Did you know, I never knew that the Third Reich meant Germany. I mean it's just drenched with historical goodies like that... Oh dear, you're staring at my dress. I should explain. We are going to the choreographer's ball tonight and there's a prize for the best costume.
Carmen Giya: And we always win!
Roger De Bris: I don't know about tonight. I'm supposed to be the Grand Duchess Anastasia, but I think I look more like Tugboat Annie. What do you think, Mr. Bloom?
Leo Bloom: ...Where do you keep your wallet?

Hold me, Touch me: And after that, we'll play, "The Abduction and the Cruel Rape of Lucretia", and I'll be Lucretia.
Max Bialystock: And I'll be Rape!

1. Blazing Saddles
-The only movie that doesn’t star the Marx Brothers that I laugh from the first scene to the last, while only stopping at the musical scenes. For the Marx Brothers’ movies, its whatever Zeppo is singing while in Saddles, it’s “I’m So Tired.” But that’s just me being nitpicky because Blazing Saddles is perfectly done as both a comedy and, oddly enough, a western.

Hedley Lamarr: Go do that voodoo that you do so well!

Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We're not sure. Are we black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we're awake, but very puzzled.

Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.

Taggart: I got it. I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous.

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

Howard Johnson: As chairman of the welcoming committee, it's a pleasure to present a Laurel and Hardy handshake to our new
[finally looks up]
Howard Johnson: ... nigger.

Lili Von Shtupp: Would you like another schnitzengruben?
Bart: No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.
Lili Von Shtupp: Well how about a little...
[whispers in his ear]
Bart: [shocked] Baby. I'm not from Havana.

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening thru a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto.
Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto"? "Ditto," you provincial putz?

Jim: Where you headed, cowboy?
Bart: Nowhere special.
Jim: Nowhere special. I always wanted to go there.
Bart: Come on.

Taggart: [shouting] We'll head them off at the pass!
Hedley Lamarr: Head them off at the pass? I hate that cliché.

Bart: Well, raise my rent. You *are* The Kid.

Bart: Sir, he specifically requested two "niggers". Well, to tell the family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.

Buddy's Singers: They hurt Buddy! Let's get 'em, girls!

Charlie: Hey Bart, is it me or is the world rising?
Bart: I don't know, but whatever it is, I hate it.

9 comments:

kiara ink said...

Sorry. History of the World should not be on anyone's best list. It is one of the worst movies ever made. Sorry. History of the World should not be on anyone's best list. It is one of the worst movies ever made.

kiara ink said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kiara ink said...

{Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous.}

And I don't remember that part. I guess it's because I always watch it on (sigh) basic cable instead of the DVD.

jaydan b said...

Where is Spaceballs in this list!!! You're out of your mind if you put men in tights before a masterpiece such as Spaceballs.

Barbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Barbie said...

Men in tights was so goooood! Also, I'm pretty sure cary is less known for saw than any of his other movies...

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