Eight Nights This Week

When I think of Hanukkah, one of the first things I think of is Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song” trilogy—and this is coming from someone who actually celebrates the holiday. The songs are both educational and hilarious, a rare mix.

Although Sandler hasn’t hit comedy gold since Big Daddy, I think is a good time to reflect on how funny he was (and might still be), and also to think about the holiday.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I think the third song is the funniest

Happy Hanukkah everyone!

“The Hanukkah Song”

#5.
Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

#4.
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Bowzer from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzarelli

#3.
Paul Newman’s half-Jewish, Goldie Hawn’s half too
Put them together, what a fine looking Jew!

#2.
You don’t need “Deck the Halls” or “Jingle Bell Rock”
‘Cause you can the spin the dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock—both Jewish!

#1.
Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is,
Well, he’s not, but guess who is: All Three Stooges.

“The Hanukkah Song, Part II”

#5.
We got Harvey Keitel and flash dancer Jennifer Beals
Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish, and yes, her boobs are real

#4.
So many Jews in the business
Bruce Springsteen isn’t Jewish, but my mother thinks he is

#3.
Two-time Oscar winner Dustin Hoffmonica celebrates Hanukkah
OJ Simpson, still not a Jew, but guess who is?
The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo

#2.
Guess who got bar mitzvahed on the PGA Tour?
No, I’m not talking about Tiger Woods, I’m talking about Mr. Happy Gilmore

#1.
Bob Dylan was born a Jew, then he wasn’t, but now he’s back
Mary Tyler Moore’s husband is Jewish, ‘cause we’re pretty good in the sack

“The Hanukkah Song, Part III”

#5.
Houdini and David Blaine escape straitjackets with such precision
But the one thing they could not get out of: their painful circumcision

#4.
Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mix meat with dairy
Maybe they should of called that show Little Kosher House on the Prairie

#3.
We've got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller and Jack Black
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back

#2.
Hey, Natalie Portmanica
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get an Abtronica
On this joyful, toyful Chanukah

#1.
There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrell, Beck and Paula Abdul
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music, but first came Hebrew School