Our Attention's Undivided/ Damnit We're Excited!

Tonight, I’ll be seeing The Queers playing at Maxwell’s in Hoboken, New Jersey. Since I bought the tickets over a month ago, I’ve been counting down the days until the concert because they’ve become one of my favorite bands.

Playing a Ramones-inspired type of punk, the band—current members are Joe King on vocals and guitar (he also goes by Joe Queer), Dangerous Dave on guitar, Ben Vermin on bass and Matt Drastic playing the drums—has some of the most infectious sounding songs I’ve ever heard.

The actual music is straight-forward punk and the lyrics are normally about drinking, hanging out with girls, love, gay people or drugs—if not all of the above. For instance, here’s a verse from the song “Girl About Town” off their most recent album, Munki Brain:

“See the girl lying under the bar?
She used to be a rock and roll star
Smoked cigarettes with Joan Jett in America

She got her picture in Rolling Stone
She was third from the left behind Joey Ramone
You couldn't see her face but I'm sure she looked great anyway.”

Joey would have been proud.

Some form of the band has been around since 1982, with the formation originally happening in Portsmouth, News Hampshire. They’ve never received any kind of commercial success, but instead have a dedicated fan following that makes it possible for me to see them even though they’ve been together for 25 years.

If you ever get a chance to see them live or even just see one of their albums on the racks of a record store, put it on and for the following 35 minutes or so, you’ll have the time of your life.

Five Best…The Queers Songs:

#5. “Ursula Finally Has Tits”

“She went to the drug store, and I saw what she bought:
Maxi-pads, tampons, and a training bra.
Eye-shadow, lipstick, smoking cigarettes,
I think there's something that she needs to get off her chest.”

#4. “See You Later Fuckface”

“I wasn't looking for trouble,
But it came looking for me.
I may not have any muscles,
But I can move like Bruce Lee.

So when a bunch of these pussies started
Beating up on my friends,
I left the stage, and I aimed to land on them.

See ya later, fuckface.
See ya later, fuckface.
See you in the funny pages - fuck you!
See ya later, fuckface.
We hate you.”

#3. “Boobarella”

“Boobarella you turned my head around
You know you got my heart all upside down
I saved up from mowing all those lawns
To buy Tina Turner records that she wants.”

#2. “I Wanna Be True to You”

“’Cause I don't wanna be alone and sad no more,
And I've been through this before.
Can't you understand this much is true?
I wanna be happy with you.
It's all I wanna do.
I wanna be happy with you.”

#1. “Get a Life and Live It, Loser”

“You think that you're perfect, so lovable and cute.
But you're just so pathetic that it makes me wanna puke.”